


Be My Conspiracy

by sksdwrld



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 15:59:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6057466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sksdwrld/pseuds/sksdwrld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Arthur are set up with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be My Conspiracy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kitty_fic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitty_fic/gifts).



Merlin had been skeptical about the whole internet dating thing from the start but now he was sure the bloke on the other end was fucking with him. He stared down in disbelief at his phone, then yelled from the couch, "Gwennnnn!"

Before she could even make it in from the kitchen, he was up and pacing. "No, I can't do it. I won't go. I can't go. I'm not going!"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Merlin, what now?" Merlin was sure that Gwen didn't mean to roll her eyes at him, it was just that he'd been a complete numpty the last couple of weeks and as his best friend and roommate, she'd put up with the brunt of it.

"Just look at what _He_ said now!" Merlin thrust his mobile at her.

"Which one is this?" Gwen asked, squinting at the screen as she took it.

"The law student," Merlin said miserably.

"Lance?" Gwen asked with interest.

"No, no. He's the carpentry fellow, and any way, I think he fancies birds more than blokes. This is 'Princeton', and I've half a mind to think he's a catfish, because all of his profile pictures are either too far away to see his face or they're extreme close ups of the profile of his jaw or one eye and his hair, or an ear or something. His shoes, for fucks sake. It's probably Gwaine, taking the piss, and that's why I'm not going."

"Merlin!" Gwen said with dismay. "Gwaine wouldn't do that to you, he's your friend--"

"That is exactly the sort of thing Gwaine does to his friends," Merlin huffed. "And what sort of person tells a guy they've never met that they want to kiss them?"

"The sort of guy that's deeply attracted to you, Merlin. I think you should give it a chance."

"Deeply attracted? To what?! My thrift store aesthetic? My scarecrow-like figure? These Mickey Mouse ears?" He pulled on them for emphasis.

"Oh, come on now. You clean up well. And you did tell him you wouldn't stop him if he tried..."

"I did not, Gwen! Oh my God!" Turning with an expression of horror, Merlin snatched his phone back and after confirming that she'd sent such a message, fell back on the couch. "Oh God, I hate you. I hate you and I want to die..."

"You're welcome!" Gwen grinned mischievously and stopped to ruffle his hair before he shoved her hand away. "That's what friends are for, Merlin."

Merlin's phone chirped again and he huffed before looking at the message. "He wants to go out tonight!" He lamented.

"Merlin, so help me God, you had better say yes, or I'll do it for you..." Gwen said, grabbing for his phone again.

"Gwen!" Merlin scowled and turned toward the couch cushions to keep the phone away from her. "Get back, you She-beast! Let a man seal his own doom..."

\---

"Arthur, when are you going to ask this cutie out on a date?" Morgana called into the en suite from Arthur's bed where she was reclining with his phone.

"Which one?" Arthur replied, voice muffled as he toweled off his hair.

"This tall glass of water with the great smile..." she purred, flicking from picture to picture on his profile. "MustBSorcery82? He sounds like a hopeless romantic. That's perfect for you..."

"He's actually a bit of a snarky bastard," Arthur said, entering his bedroom with the towel draped around his hips.

"Even better," Morgana sent a sly grin up at him. "I like him already."

"I do too," Arthur admitted sheepishly. "Except I sort of made it out that I was a law student named Princeton. And I think he'll be offended when I come clean."

Morgana laughed. "You mean when he finds out you're a semi-pro footy player studying pre-law? You flash your wallet around enough and I'm sure he'll get over it, darling."

"He's not like that..." Arthur rifled through the stack of shirts in his large, not-quite walk-in closet and selected a soft, marled grey tee then dragged it over his head. "Merlin doesn't care about money or power or politics..."

"So, what you're really saying is, Dad's going to hate him?"

"Yes," Arthur sighed. "I don't even care. We message for hours. He makes me laugh. I think about kissing him. But..." Arthur stopped, trailing as though he wanted Morgana to drag the rest out of him.

Instead, she smirked and typed in the message to Merlin, "I...want...to...kiss...you..." she enunciated.

"Oh God!" Arthur's head snapped up. "Tell me you didn't..."

"I did!" Morgana sang in response and tossed Arthur his phone. As she sat up and pushed away from the bed, she said, "You're welcome little brother!"

"Morgana," he sighed in dismay and set his phone aside, then began searching for a pair of shorts and a pair of jeans. By the time he had pulled them on, he had a message waiting for him. "Oh, thank fuck...He says he wouldn't stop me..."

Arthur shot Morgana another look but she hardly paid attention. "There, you see? Now ask him out on a proper date, Arthur."

\-----

"Merlin?" Arthur whispered into a rather large and delectable ear as he tightened his arms around the slender man playing the part of the small spoon.

"Mmmm?"

"Remember how we said we were going to exact revenge on the meddling women in our lives for interfering with the natural order of things?"

"Mmmm," Merlin agreed, nestling his rump more firmly into Arthur's groin.

"I've decided on the best course of action," Arthur murmured, hands beginning to roam over Merlin's body once more. That was all it took for the little minx to start rolling his hips in encouragement.

"Oh?"

"We're going to send them flowers."

"Brilliant," Merlin breathed. "After you ruin me for other men though, right?"

"You mean I haven't yet?"

"One more shag ought to do..."

"Well, best be on it then, I've got things to do today." Arthur pinched one of Merlin's nipples, causing him to squeak and arch.

"Really?"

"No you idiot. Now shut up and kiss me."

And he did.


End file.
